Do you ever do something that you know you just shouldn't do? Something that is a lot of fun, but you know in the long run you are just going to get hurt?
I have... and I am doing it again.
With the same person.
I know that hanging out with this guy is going to get me now where. We have a lot of fun when we hang out, but I know that is all it is. I know that nothing is ever going to come from this. I know that I might develop feelings for this guy, and that it won't be good. I know that we should just be friends and keep it at that.
Maybe if he wasn't so charming. Maybe if he wasn't so funny. Maybe if he wasn't so much fun to be around. Maybe if he wasn't so gosh darn cute. Maybe it would be a lot easier to say no. Maybe, just maybe.
But, sometimes doing something that I know I shouldn't is just SO MUCH FUN!
Friday, September 16, 2011
I HATE that word! I have never liked that word, but since I have been working with special needs kids, I have a whole new hatred for that word. I cringe when people say it.
A friend of mine just posted this video on Facebook. I cried while watching it. I think it expresses everything I feel about this word. Please watch it.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
So as you know I am trying out Match. Ha Ha Ha Ha.
So I am texting with this one guy. We have never met. I repeat we have never met. This is what I get in a text message yesterday.
"Come see me now lol i need your touch"
"Since you can bake you have some touch lol"
Really? Who says that? I am not having that conversation with someone I have never met before.
I am not looking for Prince Charming here, I am just looking for someone who is somewhat normal. Is that really too much to ask for?
Ugh, this is getting frustrating...
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Scares the shit out of me!
I think the whole process is incredibly awkward. You meet someone - or in this case, you email and text someone - and then you have to spend sometime having dinner, or meeting somewhere and having a conversation. It's not all that simple though.
Do you know how many times I have to change my outfit so that I look just right. I don't want to look too slutty or too conservative. I don't want to look fat. I don't want wear something like I am going out to a club, or even something I would go out partying. It is not easy to find the perfect outfit.
Then I have to worry about my hair. Do I straighten it or do I keep it curly? If I leave it curly, what happens if it doesn't curl the right way? If I straighten it, what if it rains? I have to make sure it looks just right.
Do I wear my glasses or do I wear my contact? What kind of makeup do I put on? I don't want to wear too much, but I want to make it look like I am trying to look good.
What kind of shoes do I wear? Do I wear one of my favorite pairs of heels or do I wear flats?
Do you see why this is a problem?!?!
Then you go out to dinner and you sit there and think what do I eat? Do I eat something healthy or do I get something unhealthy? Do I get something that I could possibly make a huge mess out of? All this questioning and then I have to worry about if I have food in my teeth! Then what do I drink? Do I go with my typical Diet Coke? Do I order an alcoholic beverage to calm my nerves?
All this going through my head as I have to hold a conversation!!!
It is all way to overwhelming to deal with. I have had two guys ask me out this week. I thought I was going to throw up! It is all way too much to deal with. I wish it could be simple. I wish I didn't over think things. I wish it could just happen...
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Ok before you answer that question so quickly let me explain why I am asking this question.
When you first meet a guy part of the fun in the beginning is the flirting that happens, right? I understand that I am a flirt and I love to flirt, but still there should be some flirting, right?
Well much to my dismay I have joined Match, to try and find a guy, I guess. There are a couple of guys that I am talking too, and I may not know a whole lot about them, but we are having fun conversations. There is flirting going on and it is just fun. Then there is this guy that I am talking to and its just not fun! I know a lot about him, because he feels the need to tell me everything. He tells me what he has done so far during the day, everything he is going to do tomorrow, and what he is going to do when he is done typing the email. Its not fun. Should it be?
Shouldn't it start off fun and light? Not having to know everything someone is doing all the time. Am I wrong?
Today he asked me out for dinner. I don't know how I feel about this. I know nothing bad is going to happen, but haven't had fun "talking" are we going to have fun going out to dinner? It has been very formal emailing back and forth. And yes, you should find out about the other person, but I feel like you should have fun getting to know each other. I am just not having fun.
Am I crazy for thinking it should be fun? Or is this what is happening these days?
Friday, September 2, 2011
So you will come to learn that I love quotes. There is possibly a quote out there for anything that I am going through, that explains what I am feeling or thinking a hundred times better then I can say it.
Here is the quote that has me thinking today, it's from Sex and the City...
"Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sluts?"
When I heard this one I laughed out loud. I really think that this describes me right now. OK before I continue I don't want you to think that I am slut hahahaha. I'm not!! I don't go around sleeping with all these different guys - but I am having fun. LOL
I sat there and thought about this. I have met some really nice guys lately that are relationship worthy. But for some reason, I can't get myself to the point where I could see myself in a relationship with the guy. And they are really great guys, good looking, sweet, funny, easy to talk to - you know all the things a gal looks for in a guy. But I hear the word relationship and I back off. Why is that? All I have ever wanted was to meet a great guy, fall in love, get married, have a family and grow old together. Now that I have these opportunities and meeting these great guys, I can't get myself to open up to the whole relationship thing.
Is it because I really don't want to be in a relationship? Is it because I am afraid of putting myself out there to only get hurt? Is it because I am too picky? Is it because I am afraid that, it means I am old? Is it because I know that these guys aren't for me and I don't want to be in a relationship, just to be in one? I have no idea! I can't seem to figure it out. But I do know that I need to figure out my problem soon.
Maybe I am just romantically challenged...
Maybe I am having way to much fun doing my own thing right now. Maybe I like being able to flirt with guys and not have to worry about what my significant other thinks. Maybe I don't want to waste time with people that I feel aren't for me. Maybe I don't want to go through the whole dating thing just to find out - this guy is the person I thought he was when I met him. Maybe I am just having too much fun in my life right now. I don't know.
Maybe, I am a slut...